[{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"BlogPosting","@id":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/2020\/05\/15\/when-grief-is-a-companion-coping-with-collective-sorrow\/#BlogPosting","mainEntityOfPage":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/2020\/05\/15\/when-grief-is-a-companion-coping-with-collective-sorrow\/","headline":"When grief is a companion: Coping with collective sorrow","name":"When grief is a companion: Coping with collective sorrow","description":"Grief comes for each of us in different ways, but right now the world is experiencing collective sorrow. Learn how to cope, and how to help those who you care about.","datePublished":"2020-05-15","dateModified":"2023-02-16","author":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/contributor\/amanda-magee\/#Person","name":"Amanda Magee","url":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/contributor\/amanda-magee\/","identifier":383,"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/31d192a92932f8061f51a1ebc0f27663f339079b63a5df3c859f0410e97e8775?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/31d192a92932f8061f51a1ebc0f27663f339079b63a5df3c859f0410e97e8775?s=96&d=mm&r=g","height":96,"width":96}},"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"The Future of Commerce","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/logo-foc-schema-app-1.png","url":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/logo-foc-schema-app-1.png","width":172,"height":60}},"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/grief.jpg","url":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/grief.jpg","height":375,"width":1200},"url":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/2020\/05\/15\/when-grief-is-a-companion-coping-with-collective-sorrow\/","about":[{"@type":"Thing","@id":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/purpose\/","name":"Purpose","sameAs":["https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Purpose"]},"Real Talk: Mental Health, Well-Being, and Laughter",{"@type":"Thing","@id":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/purpose\/thought-leadership\/","name":"Thought Leadership","sameAs":["https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Thought_leader"]}],"wordCount":728,"keywords":["Emotional Intelligence","Employee Mental Health","Health and Wellness"],"articleBody":"Death and taxes, they tell us, are the only things you can’t avoid in life. Talk about glossing over the details. These days, grief has become the unavoidable monster in our lives. Yes, it hits everyone in different degrees, but in the wake of COVID-19 grief is a universal, and shared, experience.And for many of us, it’s one we aren’t equipped to handle on such a large scale.Grief keeps attacking, you cannot die from it, and sometimes it feels you cannot live with it. Grief sucks the color out of your days and the music out of the wind, abandoning you in a wasteland of deafening silence and endless gray.“Aren’t all these notes the senseless writings of a man who won’t accept the fact that there is nothing we can do with suffering except to suffer it?”\u00a0 \u2014 C.S. Lewis,\u00a0A Grief ObservedSociety teaches us that there are limits to\u00a0grieving, approved timelines and\u00a0durations,\u00a0acceptable clothing\u00a0and activity options, and a scale of what is\u00a0worthy of grief.Miscarriage?How far along were you?\u00a0How old was the deceased?They had a long life and all that.Acquaintance? Celebrity?How well did you know them?\u00a0Family?But was it immediate family?\u00a0A pet?It’s not like it’s a real child.A job?Just move on.A breakup?Couldn’t have been that serious.A dream?Get over it.When did grief stop belonging to the person experiencing it?The need to provide answers and create tidy boxes for every last thing is unhelpful at best and heart-shattering at worst. Grief cannot be rushed, quieted, or avoided.It manifests physically, mimicking symptoms of anxiety\u2014or even a heart attack. It leads to fatigue, extreme thirst, and mental fogginess.No one would begrudge your exhaustion after running a 10k, but people are quick to dismiss fatigue during mourning. Perhaps it’s our general unease with sorrow. We don’t want it to get too close. Please don’t come for me. Shoo away the raw emotion, push it out of sight.Eric Clapton wrote two songs for his 4-year-old son who died in a tragic accident, and he won 3 Grammys for the first. Pain is enthralling when portrayed in a movie\u00a0or experienced by\u00a0someone at a distance;\u00a0we are like moths to a flame.We sing along; we shake our heads and let tears fall. We seek out\u00a0novels\u00a0and\u00a0movies that leave us undone, but the when it comes to our friends with preemies who never come home, colleagues with children lost to opioids or gun violence, we slink away, or freeze, unsure what to say.How to distinguish between grief and depressionDepression and grief share many traits. And while both deserve compassion and grace, they aren’t the same thing. How do you distinguish the two?Symptoms of grief:Despair and sadnessLethargyTearsLack of hungerSleeplessnessTrouble concentratingHigh and low emotionsGuiltSymptoms of depression:WorthlessnessExcessive guiltSuicidal ideationLow self-esteemFutilityHelplessnessAnxietyListlessnessEmotions of gratitude and happiness compensate for the pain of grief, while with depression, there is nothing but hollowness and sorrow. Understanding the root of your pain can make surviving it more manageable.There are resources for depression, as well as\u00a0for grief.Grief Comes for Us AllGrief will come for each of us in different ways and at different times. Some of us will be touched by grief early and often, while others will live uninitiated late into their lives.This content is hosted by a third party ( twitter.com ).To view the content, either update your cookie preferences or view it in a new browser window.Cookie PreferencesNew WindowOur experiences with grief will vary; each death or ending is unique and happens to us at a different point in our lives, there is no right or wrong, there is the weight or the weightlessness. We have the pain of today, the memory of yesterday, and the butterflies of tomorrow and the fear that the pain will continue, or worse, that it will end.“My heart has joined the Thousand, for my friend stopped running today.” \u2014 Richard Adams, Watership Down  Work doesn’t work like it once did.Win, retain, and grow talent in a changing, competitive landscape. Real-life proof points \u2192HERE."},{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"2020","item":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/2020\/#breadcrumbitem"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"05","item":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/2020\/\/05\/#breadcrumbitem"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"15","item":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/2020\/\/05\/\/15\/#breadcrumbitem"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":4,"name":"When grief is a companion: Coping with collective sorrow","item":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/2020\/05\/15\/when-grief-is-a-companion-coping-with-collective-sorrow\/#breadcrumbitem"}]}]