[{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"BlogPosting","@id":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/2021\/04\/29\/employee-burnout-grief-trauma-covid\/#BlogPosting","mainEntityOfPage":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/2021\/04\/29\/employee-burnout-grief-trauma-covid\/","headline":"Back to normal? Not so fast: Employee burnout, grief, trauma is real","name":"Back to normal? Not so fast: Employee burnout, grief, trauma is real","description":"To support employees struggling with grief, trauma, and burnout as we head back into the office, there are some best practices to follow.","datePublished":"2021-04-29","dateModified":"2021-07-30","author":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/contributor\/lisa-keefauver\/#Person","name":"Lisa Keefauver","url":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/contributor\/lisa-keefauver\/","identifier":534,"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/3910b30aebd0b050443596d4f7187f8c49f3cf2903f8bd87566512de9fd5cd13?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/3910b30aebd0b050443596d4f7187f8c49f3cf2903f8bd87566512de9fd5cd13?s=96&d=mm&r=g","height":96,"width":96}},"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"The Future of Commerce","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/logo-foc-schema-app-1.png","url":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/logo-foc-schema-app-1.png","width":172,"height":60}},"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/employee-burnout-and-grief.jpeg","url":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/employee-burnout-and-grief.jpeg","height":375,"width":1200},"url":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/2021\/04\/29\/employee-burnout-grief-trauma-covid\/","about":[{"@type":"Thing","@id":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/customer-experience\/","name":"Customer Experience","sameAs":["https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Customer_experience","http:\/\/www.wikidata.org\/entity\/Q984142"]},{"@type":"Thing","@id":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/customer-experience\/employee-engagement\/","name":"Employee Engagement","sameAs":["https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Employee_engagement","http:\/\/www.wikidata.org\/entity\/Q14937678"]},"Real Talk: Mental Health, Well-Being, and Laughter",{"@type":"Thing","@id":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/purpose\/thought-leadership\/","name":"Thought Leadership","sameAs":["https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Thought_leader"]}],"wordCount":2502,"keywords":["Employee Engagement","Employee Mental Health","HR","Human Resources","HXM","Mindfulness at Work"],"articleBody":"While headlines are discussing going back to work, the reality is we’re not ever going back to “normal.” Humans tend to compartmentalize grief and trauma, which often leads to employee burnout. The stressors of the work environment amid COVID-19 (often more hours, all online, job losses, deaths, etc.) can make it so that we don’t address those things in order to remain in survival mode.When we re-enter work, that mode might flip, and release the things we couldn’t bring ourselves to think about. So, how can you help deal with employee burnout, grief, and trauma?Let’s explore solutions, examples, and employee counseling.Do you want the good news or the bad news first?(Hint: nothing in life is that binary). Okay, we have to start somewhere, so let\u2019s start with the “bad news.”We\u2019re not going back to \u201cnormal\u201d in (or outside) of the workplace. Ever. Why?Because over the past 15 months of living and working through a global pandemic, we\u2019ve all experienced a tremendous amount of loss. We\u2019re grieving, everyone around us is grieving, and grief fundamentally changes us in every way. Permanently. Our communities, organizations, and institutions have faced loss, and they too will never be the same.Take a moment to absorb that . . . but don\u2019t get stuck there.Now, this may be an unpopular opinion, but I think that\u2019s the good news. What? Yes – I said it – I think that it\u2019s good that we\u2019re not going back to a \u201cnormal workplace.”Why? Well, in a nutshell, it\u2019s because many lack empathy, compassion, and emotional intelligence – the qualities we need (individually and collectively) most to heal and to thrive.      Future-proof your career: 7 ways to improve emotional intelligence                Emotional intelligence is what sets humans apart from AI, machine learning, and algorithms. Improve emotional intelligence and future-proof your career.      Rewriting normal after the manuscript of our lives was torn to shredsLoss happens to us, against our will, and our immediate reaction is instinctual and involuntary, too. Yet as the initial shock wears off, the work of grief requires us to rewrite our story. This is true both at the individual and organizational levels.\u201cOur lives are built by the stories we tell of our experiences. A death, a devastating loss (of relationship, ability, homeland, or even dream), or a traumatic event (like a global pandemic) is akin to the manuscript of our lives being torn to shreds and handed back to us with no instructions on how to rewrite or live our lives. Grief is the journey we\u2019re on as we rewrite and live into the story of our lives.\u201d-Lisa Keefauver, MSWSo many plot twistsPerhaps before COVID-19, you might have been able to (though inaccurately) list the employees who were grieving. Now, it\u2019s just your entire employee roster, your customer base, and YOU.Some people are grieving one or two losses (e.g., loss of routine and loss of sense of safety). For other employees, that\u2019s just their base. Some employees are grieving multiple, compounding, and catastrophic stressors and losses (death loss, financial devastation, caregiver fatigue).Some people have strong support systems, and some don\u2019t. There are even those people who may not identify as having faced loss at all, describing this year as a great excuse to spend more quality time with their kids. The only universal truth is that everyone\u2019s experience is unique, as is their response, and there is no one right way.Complex charactersFor most employees, the losses they experienced were felt on multiple levels including emotional, psychological, physical, cognitive, financial, and spiritual\/existential. Moreover, the pandemic brought disproportionate losses in Black and Latinx communities.“This year\u2019s grief, though widespread, has accumulated unevenly. COVID-19 has taken the biggest toll on Black, Latinx, and Indigenous people, who have disproportionately died in the pandemic.”–MARIA ASPAN in Fortune\u00a0So, everyone is grieving and grieving is different for everyone. Wondering how we even begin to respond? Great question, the answer is…Ready, set, check: 5 policy points to help relieve employee burnout + griefThe truth is, even long before the pandemic, our workplaces weren\u2019t set up to support grievers of any kind, and that came at a price. Beyond the emotional toll on employees, it was costing companies financially – to the tune of $75 billion annually.This catastrophic shift we\u2019ve experienced; this shredded manuscript is creating an opportunity to reassess and make improvements for the benefit of everyone.Given that we\u2019re facing unprecedented loss and a still unknown future, there’s a lot to consider as we create the new normal workplace.Asking yourself these 5 questions around employee burnout and grief is a good place to start:How do our bereavement policies align (or not) with our company\u2019s core values?What does it cover? (e.g., How many days? Consecutive\/Non-consecutive? Paid or unpaid? Can people donate their time to others?)Who does it cover? (e.g., Full-time employees only? Loss of extended family? Neighbors? Pets? Miscarriage? Divorce?)What is our flexible work schedule policy? (e.g., work-share program? Temp-service availability?)What other support systems do we have? (e.g., ability to suspend performance targets, mental health days, no meeting days, grief\/MH counseling, support groups, mentoring, etc.)“Even the most well-intentioned + efficient business couldn\u2019t begin to dream of the scenario we\u2019re facing.The best companies know that the heart of their organization is the people \u2013what do you do when that collective heart is breaking over, and over, and over again?”-Jenn VandeZande, SAP      HR priorities after COVID: Building bridges with HXM                HR priorities were reshaped by COVID. Moving forward, HR can use HXM to build an employee-centric business focused on development and inclusion.      Not so fast, there\u2019s more to check: Questions leaders must ask of themselves when it comes to employee engagement + trustWe all know policies can conflict with other policies. So, check on that.Less visible – but more problematic – is when policies don\u2019t align with practice. A policy to stave off employee burnout is useless if the culture doesn\u2019t match, and can result in employees not feeling prepared, supported, and distrustful of your company.So, as you reassess the policies of your organization, you may also want to consider:What systems contradict with our bereavement policy (e.g., rigid performance targets, use of Slack 24\/7)?Have we engaged employee input and empowered leaders to uphold policies?Do we know who the main point of contact is for each returning grieving employee?Are they prepared to create an individualized plan with the employee?Are they building in the expectation that it may need to change based on employee needs changing?Did you check the nervous system, too? Best practices to help with burnout, grief, and trauma in the workplaceWhen we confront the unexpected, our nervous system does its job by kicking into fight, flight or freeze mode without our permission or knowledge. That\u2019s great when we are about to step out into traffic or touch a hot stove. Our modern lives, and especially this past year, have been a relentless string of stressors, which means many of us are walking around with an activated nervous system.Why does that matter at work?Well for starters (and middle and end), our cognitive functioning, memory, problem-solving, and interpersonal skills are significantly impaired as our brain goes \u201coffline\u201d to respond to perceived danger. You don\u2019t need me to point out why this isn’t just bad for the employee well-being, it\u2019s bad for business too.The good news is there\u2019s a scientifically proven, affordable, and accessible solution to help discharge stress: Mindfulness practices.      A modern guide to mindfulness at work                Mindfulness at work is something we're hearing a lot about these days. It's supposed to make our lives better, but what is it, and can it help our careers?      Inviting you to consider:Offering on-site\/Zoom guided mindfulness meditationsDelivering mindfulness and well-being workshopsIncorporating mindfulness practices into your meetings – this is an easy first place to startDon\u2019t forget, it\u2019s not just your employees facing a \u201cnew normal\u201d, it\u2019s your customers\/clients too. (How) are you prepared to support them?      Zoom is a four-letter word: 5 ways to cope with video chat exhaustion                Zoom fatigue is real: Most of us are identifying dread, anxiety, or frustration as more video meetings arrive. Here's how to cope.      What to say – and what not to say – to coworkers and friends who are grieving or suffering (Let’s end toxic positivity, folks)Start with honesty, vulnerability, and compassionAfter assessing, you may realize you\u2019re woefully underprepared for the new normal. You\u2019re not alone. But don\u2019t let wanting to get it perfect get in the way of starting. Remember, wherever your starting point is, arrive there with honesty, vulnerability, compassion (and a commitment to keep doing better).You don\u2019t (have to) have all the answers, so ditch the fixOoooh this is a hard one. Not just for leaders, who are trained to see and fix problems, but for all of us. We struggle to hold space for someone in pain, but out of concern (and sometimes our own ego), we feel compelled to rush into an attempted fix.Think about a time when you felt really supported. Now ask yourself – was it something specific they said or did, or was it more about their energy, attitude, and compassion? My guess is the latter (though I don\u2019t discount the value of practical help). So, remember, it\u2019s less about what you say and more about showing up.\u00a0Words MatterIf you\u2019re thinking, “what do I SAY,” I\u2019ve got you covered.DON’T SAY:Start any sentence with \u201cAt least.” NEVER. NOPE. NEVER.\u201cThis is what worked for my ____, and s\/he\/they was fine.\u201d\u201cYou\u2019ll be fine, back to your old self in no time.\u201d\u201cYou\u2019re so strong, I don\u2019t know how you do it.\u201d\u201cEverything happens for a reason.\u201d\u201cYou\u2019re so resilient.\u201dDO SAY:\u201cI hate that this happened to you.\u201d\u201cI know nothing I can say will fix your pain\/make it better, but I want you to know that I see you.\u201d\u201cI don\u2019t have an answer but I\u2019m here to listen.\u201d\u201cI imagine what you need will change over time, so I’ll keep checking in with you.\u201d\u201cRemember, it\u2019s okay to feel…however you\u2019re feeling!\u201dIf they\u2019re grieving a death loss, ask if they\u2019d like to share a favorite memory or quality about their person.      What’s a leader to do? 80% of employees cite feeling helpless                80% of employees feel helpless and like things are out of their control \u2014 underscoring the need for leadership that empowers them to take action.      Sympathy, empathy, and compassion defined: Nope, they’re not the sameSympathy, empathy, and compassion seem to get used interchangeably. Lately empathy has been rising to the top. Yes, empathy is key, but compassion is the gold-standard you\u2019re reaching for.Sympathy is better than silence, but not by much. Remember, although everyone is experiencing different stressors and grief, it\u2019s a universal truth that no one wants to be pitied. It feels distant and further isolates the person who\u2019s already suffering.Empathy gets you one-step closer. Empathy helps build connection, allowing people to feel seen and held in their pain. But compassion is key because it translates that empathy into action.\u00a0“Sympathy: I’m sorry you are in pain. (Distant).Empathy: I can’t imagine what this pain feels like. (Shared)Compassion: You’re suffering, and I’ll do what I can to help. (Connected and action-oriented)”-Susan David, PhDSetting the tone: Employee burnout, trauma, and grief require serious solutions that begin with acknowledging painOne of the ways we can make a better workplace culture is to ditch the fake smile. Though you might be tempted to bring your \u201cjust be happy,” half-glass-full,” cheerleader self to work, that kind of toxic positivity is harmful and a deterrent for people seeking support and care. Cutting down on toxic positivity is a great place to start.Normalize that it\u2019s okay to not be okay.While it falls on leadership to approve policies, the work isn\u2019t done there. Leaders can be instrumental in reducing the stigma of seeking help by publicly using the policies and services offered by the company. That honesty and vulnerability will do more than any memo or staff meeting speech.On the other hand, if a leader is back to work two days after a loss, carries a forced-smile through every meeting, or responds to emails or Slack messages during leave, they\u2019ve undone all the hard work that went into building compassion-based policies.“When norms and ideals clash, people gravitate towards what others do, not what they\u2019re told to do.”Jamil Zaki in Harvard Business ReviewHR is not aloneWhile it\u2019s absolutely HR\u2019s job to make sure that the policies are clearly outlined, accessible, and available, they\u2019re not alone.It\u2019s everyone\u2019s responsibility to know how to interact with stressed or grieving employees. It\u2019s everyone\u2019s job not just to uphold the policies, but to know how to show up in a way that helps not harm fellow employees (and customers, too). That isn\u2019t something we\u2019re typically trained (inside or outside of the workplace), so it’s HR\u2019s job to bring in training to help everyone develop the compassionate skills needed.      8 ways to manage professional stress amid the new normal                You might feel as if you're the only person or company struggling with how to move forward, but the reality is we're all experiencing this in real time. Learn eight ways to manage professional stress while navigating the new normal.      We’re all\u00a0a work in progressAs we build a more compassionate workplace, let\u2019s not forget what we\u2019ve learned – what we consider \u201cnormal\u201d or \u201cstandard\u201d will change, whether we like it or not.Don’t forget – much innovation and adaptation have also happened over the last year. Let those be qualities you carry forward while co-creating a more compassionate workplace. But instead of thinking of it as a destination at which you arrive, consider it a journey instead.As you make plans to address employee burnout, grief, and trauma, you’ll need to:Assess policies and practicesMake changes that align with your company valuesEnsure they are understandable, equitable, accessible, and supportedBuild in expectations and plans to reassess at regular intervalsWell, I hope (or imagine) you were already a believer in the need for more compassionate workplaces; the good news is that now you have some practical tips to help you get started.  HR, better.Employees, happier.Businesses, healthier.It’s time to modernize the employee experience."},{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"2021","item":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/2021\/#breadcrumbitem"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"04","item":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/2021\/\/04\/#breadcrumbitem"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"29","item":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/2021\/\/04\/\/29\/#breadcrumbitem"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":4,"name":"Back to normal? Not so fast: Employee burnout, grief, trauma is real","item":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/2021\/04\/29\/employee-burnout-grief-trauma-covid\/#breadcrumbitem"}]}]