Per my last email: Corporate speak decoded

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Corporate speak.

It’s the language we’ve become fluent in without even realizing.

And for freelance writer Delia Paunescu, it’s a topic of great interest and amusement, as she explained in a tweet that went viral last week:

“I’ve recently become obsessed with all the insane corporate ways we say normal things to each other,” she writes. “‘I’m a little confused’ is by far my favorite – it’s absolute rage masked as a professional pleasantry.”

Within 24 hours, the post had gotten over 82 thousand likes and over 12 thousand retweets (and those numbers are even higher now).

She ended by asking her followers to share their own favorite (or most egregious) examples, and the people delivered. Read through some of the most relatable responses and laugh – or feel the shame – or both.

Corporate speak, decoded:

1. When you need the info, but don’t feel like “getting into it”

2. When you already answered their question, which they would know if they had bothered to look.

3. When you didn’t think you needed a paper trail.

4. When you offer to “help out” on a project, and the PM forgets it’s not your full-time job.

5. When you wish people would display a little more initiative (“Let me Google that for you…”)

6. When they forget that “urgent” and “important” are not the same.

7. You KNOW you’re not getting out of this meeting in under 2 hours.

8. When your email sign-off can serve as a mood ring.

9. This disclaimer lets you know that whatever was just said is about to get torn apart.

10. Never underestimate the power of punctuation.

11. When you’re looking for divine intervention.

12. And finally, when you just want to quietly dip out of the conversation.

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Emily Morrow
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Emily Morrow

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