The Great Regret: Workers second-guess joining the Great Resignation

It turns out that suddenly quitting a job to pursue other interests might be highly overrated. The Great Resignation is giving way to the Great Regret.

Last year, 47.4 million U.S. workers came to the realization they weren’t happy with their current work scenarios and chucked their jobs as part of what came to be known as the Great Resignation or Big Quit.

Low pay, lack of advancement opportunities, feeling disrespected at work, and childcare issues were top drivers for this employee exodus, according to a Pew Research Center poll. Many others left to spend more time with family, start new businesses, move to other locales, or hit pause on the rat race.

Now, studies show it’s the Great Regret for many workers. Consider these stats:

1. About one in five workers who quit during the past two years have come to regret it, according to a Harris Poll survey for USA Today.
2. Among those who switched employers, only 26% like their new jobs enough to stay, the poll found
3. Despite a bullish U.S. employment report in July, 40% of people who resigned without a replacement position waiting say they’re struggling to find work, according to a recent Joblist survey.
4. Overall, 22% of quitters regret leaving their old companies because they miss interaction with former colleagues, Joblist reports.

The psychology behind the Great Regret

Psychologists say regret usually involves people blaming themselves for decisions they made – or didn’t make – that resulted in feelings of loss. In employment terms, that could mean making a career move that didn’t pan out.

Regret is typically seen as a negative emotion – and one of the most difficult to overcome – because it often involves things we cannot change, namely the past. For example, those millions of Americans who quit jobs could easily lament doing so because it’s hampering their careers.

As we all know, being out of work for any period doesn’t look great on resumes and sometimes leads to hiring managers questioning a job candidate’s work ethic. When confronted with such realities, workers could find their feelings of regret intensifying to the point of becoming all consuming.

But experts say it doesn’t have to be that way. Regret can serve as a “source of insight and learning” and support the development of an increasing sensitivity to the value and worth of opportunities, relationships, and the fragility of life, writes James Tobin, a Southern California psychologist.

Getting back on your feet

So how do you turn the Great Regret into a career enabler? First off, face your feelings. It’s okay to admit to yourself or others that you regret decisions. Pride gets you nowhere and repressing your feelings don’t make them go away.

If anything, those emotions can stew under the surface and undermine self-esteem, creativity, and aggressiveness – attributes that help people succeed in workplaces. Psychologists say it’s important to acknowledge these feelings as a precursor to coming to terms with them.

Next, find the source of regret – and reframe it. It’s easy to blame your decision for your current feelings, but regret can stem from a variety of other sources. For example, perhaps you had a great business idea, and the day job was holding you back when you quit to pursue the idea. Or maybe feelings of not being appreciated in the old job were instinctual alarm bells that layoffs were afoot, and you needed to look elsewhere. Or maybe your desire to spend more time with family during the pandemic meant you saw that as the clear priority instead of work.

Psychologists say cognitive reframing, where we shift our mindsets to see things differently, can help overcome many feelings of regret. After identifying the decisions causing angst, the idea is to put those decisions into a perspective that’s realistic.

For example, instead of telling yourself that you left a well-paying job to chase a risky business venture, frame it as being about removing an obstacle to a potential opportunity.

Stop over-analyzing and move forward

When bogged down with regrets, it’s easy to fall into the trap of paralysis by analysis. This is where you spend so much time scrutinizing decisions or focusing on all those “what ifs” that it becomes a straitjacket that inhibits future potential success. At some point, you must give yourself a break and find a path forward.

It might mean doubling down on the decision you made once you’ve put it into a more acceptable context. Or it could lead to making amends and going back to the old job. Perhaps you choose a completely new path that adapts to today’s economic, social, technological, and political realities.

Whatever the case, overcoming regret depends upon acting. Unless you get going, those regrets will keep you down.

The Big Quit and Big Regret will probably wind up as blips on the historical radar. As time marches on, they’ll fade and become less important in the grand scheme of things.

Obsessing over choices that didn’t pan out helps nobody. But by understanding and putting those decisions into perspective, workers can position themselves for brighter and healthier futures.